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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408285">lay your love (on me)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/restlessoceans/pseuds/eggsoodeux'>eggsoodeux (restlessoceans)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Model Oh Sehun, Musician Park Chanyeol, Pining, Sharing Clothes, Slice of Life, and they were ROOMMATES, sechan butches au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:35:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/restlessoceans/pseuds/eggsoodeux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun knows that moving into her best friend-slash-secret-love-of-her-life's apartment with next to no notice after six years of radio silence, and having their relationship resemble anything close to a functional friendship should be enough for her. And yet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lay your love (on me)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a few things: this au completely came from <a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdYRcY9U4AAUkwe?format=jpg&amp;name=large">these</a> <a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EdYRcY8VAAASWhz?format=jpg&amp;name=large">pictures</a> from sechan's latest album. aptly named "sechan butches in an underground butch bar" inside my head. as a lesbian myself, i did hesitate a lot with this au, it feels a lot more personal (hurl emoji) to draw into my experience of queerness rather than it being a speculation of dynamics i wasn't completely familiar with, so i hope you enjoy reading this!</p><p>cw for alcohol, and one mention of male insistence (in flirting) but nothing bad.</p><p>styling for this is obviously 1bv era sechan, then city lights baekhyun, and for kyungsoo i kind of imagined her with twice chaeyoung's cute little bob!!</p><p>title is from abba's lay all your love on me, but imagine mamma mia (2008) version. it's sehun's song (as an aries, therefore, selfish)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rain pelts against the windows of Chanyeol and Sehun’s shared apartment. They’re seated across each other, their legs overlapping and tangled as they try to fit their long limbed selves in their small couch. Chanyeol’s in her most comfortable tank top, some ratty grey thing with a hole Sehun can press two of her fingers in easily, and lounge shorts that, huh, might be hers actually. Sehun is on the phone with her agent, waiting for her to get on with it, tell her if she got signed into the big project Dior has or not, but is kept from interrupting by the words of her parents to keep her manners at all times.</p><p>Chanyeol is looking straight at her, doing a pretty terrible job of pretending to read her book. She hasn’t even flipped a page since the call started. Sehun kicks out her leg, mouthing out an insult as the bony part of her heel scrapes against Chanyeol’s knee. A pained sound jumps from Chanyeol's lips, but is betrayed by how wide her smile is. Chanyeol always had such a bright, toothy smile. Sehun loses herself in it for a moment, then reclaims enough sense to retract her leg, because her foot had landed on Chanyeol’s stomach, even slightly pushing the tank top up to reveal smooth pale skin.</p><p>“Sehunnie, were you even listening?” Junmyeon sighs, still gentle despite her exasperation. Best agent. Sehun laughs, then remembers she’s not even wearing shorts, just soft cotton panties under a large white tee, because shorts indoors feel uncomfortable, she never wore shorts back when she was living alone on the other side of Seoul, but also because—she wanted to seduce Chanyeol. So far, no dice.</p><p>“I am,” Sehun manages. “I mean, I was, Myeonnie. I promise.”</p><p>A huff from the other line. “Let me tell you why I don’t think you did,” Junmyeon says, so confrontational for nothing, a representative Gemini, “I said you got the deal. They want you for the campaign. Congrats, Sehunnie!”</p><p>Sehun echoes Junmyeon’s words into the apartment, not truly registering the words. Chanyeol’s eyes grow to the size of saucers. She’s discarded the book altogether now, page-down on the coffee table, where she’ll forget about it for a week at least, and gets up to smother Sehun with a hug. Sehun’s phone clatters to the ground as she reaches up to link her arms behind Chanyeol’s back.</p><p>“Congratulations!!!!! I always knew you’d be famous and well-loved, even back when you were six years old with drippy snot,” Chanyeol yells, like her lips are not brushing Sehun’s ear. Sehun doesn’t shiver, but that’s borne out of rigorous and dedicated practice. </p><p>“You weren’t any better with your drooling, and you’re older by two years,” Sehun mumbles into the fabric of Chanyeol’s top.</p><p>“You’re right, that’s because my little Sehunnie will always be the best and the brightest star in the sky,” Chanyeol replies easily. Sehun feels her cheeks heat up, as Chanyeol absently plays with the short pink hair at her nape.</p><p>At least with her head pressed against Chanyeol’s shoulder after news of her big break in her modelling career, she can mask breathing in Chanyeol’s comforting scent with a shaky inhale.</p><p>/</p><p>Chanyeol insists on buying pizza for dinner. She even makes a separate order at the bubble tea place, doesn’t even need to ask Sehun what she wants. They move to the bedroom when the food arrives, tipping the delivery man generously on his way out.</p><p>They arrange the food across their bed; singular, because Chanyeol lives in a one bedroom, and they could never agree with having another person sleep in the common room. Singular, because it’s two twin beds smushed together to form a larger bed, the frames don’t even match, but the room is too small to put space between them, and Sehun loves to be cuddled while Chanyeol loves to indulge her. Sehun sips her bubble tea while Chanyeol pulls a slice of pizza, exclaiming as the cheese stretches, like it's something new and exciting every time.</p><p>“We should go out,” she says, between bites, “celebrate your rise to fame, the future of your pretty face on every billboard there is in Seoul!”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sehun says, “it’s one campaign and one brand out of all the brands out there, and it’s raining. Also you get cold easily.”</p><p>“We’ll wait for the rain to stop then. This is actually the perfect time to be out, the straight people are inside following <em> norms </em>about which weather is appropriate for socializing, while the gay people are all out partying and being beautiful. It’s science.” Sehun throws one of the pillows at Chanyeol’s face, and Chanyeol expertly maneuvers the pizza out of the strike zone.</p><p>“Stop talking like you’ve got a doctorate in homosexual behavior. Gibberish is still gibberish even when you say it eloquently.”</p><p>“To exist as a gay person is to constantly challenge the mold,” Chanyeol says sagely, face still covered by the pillow. </p><p>“If we get to the club and like, two people are there other than us you will have to buy me drinks for the rest of the night,” Sehun threatens. Chanyeol tosses the pillow back at her.</p><p>“I was going to do that regardless. Pre-game?” </p><hr/><p>Back when Sehun lived in Yeouido, trying desperately to live the life her parents have always wanted her to, she would skip meals entirely.</p><p>She would fall asleep close to 3 AM, wake up at 5, and rush through the presentability rituals that having a job in corporate finance mandated. She didn’t have time for breakfast, didn’t have the appetite after looking at the mirror so long and finding a stranger in the reflection. She would get to work, burn through two meetings before lunch, and before she knew it the meetings had bled past lunchtime or Sehun wasn’t in the mood to go downstairs. She would choose instead to take some fruits out of the shared, replenishable pantry at her floor.</p><p>She’d stay working on presentations and revisions and new projects until 8 PM, and the only ones left at her department are the 20 something singles that fill the void in their life with their work. Which apparently includes her, as well.</p><p>Monsieur, her dog, is at home waiting for her when she arrives. She feels apologetic, but knows that the electric feeder she spent hundreds of thousands of won for should have given Monsieur his meals at the right time, and that her dog never begrudges her for it, not when he cuddles up on her lap once she’s unwrapped the sandwich she’d gotten on the way home and she’s seated on the couch watching reruns.</p><p>Sehun knew she was good at her job back then. She was detail-oriented, organized, punctual. She even had a promise of promotion at the end of her first year. Her job paid the rent, and then some, it was enough for her to live comfortably in one of the skyrises with her dog. She should be happy about getting commendation, but the closer the promotion got, the worse she felt about it. She knew the pattern of being good but dispassionate, lived through panic attacks in college that were hidden by the academic achievements she would bring home. Soon enough, she would get too good and too far to stop, cite the meaningless years like they added to her in any other way than simple survival in a capitalist world. </p><p>Sehun drafted her resignation letter a week before the promotion announcements. Her supervisor didn’t understand it, and Sehun never explained, was never asked why after the first time. In the end, she was still expendable; Seoul’s under and unemployed population was still big enough, starved enough for the company to be able to replace her in a month at most. As she packed her belongings in boxes, from her cubicle then her apartment, she realized she didn’t have a plan at all, and it was the first time she’s felt like she’s laughed genuinely in years.</p><p>Later, when three-quarters of her hair is laying on the floor, the hardwood almost completely swallowed by ink black hair and Monsieur is staring up at her, Sehun opens her contacts to the only person she could think of calling at this time, the very number she’d pretended didn’t exist on her phone despite steadfastly saving it in every time she changed service providers. It hasn’t been updated since senior high, but somehow, Sehun is sure that person will pick up. The phone rings five times.</p><p>“Hello?” Rustling can be heard on the other side, like they’re checking the caller ID only after they answered. “Sehunnie?”</p><p>“Unnie,” Sehun replied, voice shaky. “It’s me.”</p><hr/><p>Sehun knows what love looks like on Chanyeol. She spent her whole life seeing it happen, the six years they were apart was just an interlude, a pause before the inevitable. Sehun knew, in a sort of instinctual way, even when she hightailed out of their small town for university then work, that she and Chanyeol would find their way back to friendship. Despite it not being exactly what she wants, she’ll take a relationship with Chanyeol in any way she could get now.</p><p>Sehun once thought Chanyeol had looked at her that way too, back in senior high, when she would misconstrue Chanyeol’s kindness as romantic love. That was until she saw Chanyeol by the bicycle racks after band practice, tucking Do Kyungsoo’s short hair behind her ear and leaning down to kiss her. When Chanyeol introduced Kyungsoo to her, Kyungsoo had flashed Sehun a gummy smile that made her eyes the shape of crescent moons. Sehun hated that she couldn’t hate Kyungsoo either, not when she would sit beside them at lunch and feed Sehun her clams because she’d heard from Chanyeol that Sehun enjoyed them.</p><p>“Yeol has told me so much about you,” Kyungsoo had said, sincerity reflecting off of her wide eyes. Sehun had to bite back the acidic <em> well, she didn’t tell me about you </em> because Chanyeol wanted her approval, it was so obvious from the puppy eyes she had trained on her across the library table, her right hand fidgeting with a guitar pick and her left, ugh, obviously holding Kyungsoo’s hand below the table.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess. I’m the coolest thing she has in her life,” Sehun mumbled, turning the page of her Calculus book to another chapter.</p><p>“The brightest star in my sky!” Chanyeol crowed, and Sehun kicked her under the table, like that was something appropriate to say about your best friend when your girlfriend is right there, looking infinitely more prim, composed and beautiful than Sehun felt. And when your best friend is hopelessly in love with you, and you don’t want to lead them on. But Chanyeol didn’t know that.</p><p>/</p><p>Kyungsoo actually still comes by the apartment. </p><p>It made for an awkward reunion, the first night, when Chanyeol had taken Sehun in and was dutifully cleaning up her hair, shaving the sides and the back with gentle, reverent fingers, like no time had passed. The door swung open, and Kyungsoo hadn’t even looked up from taking off her shoes, a paper bag hanging by two of her fingers and her bob up in a tie, with some hair at the back brushing her nape. It looked like she belonged here too, and it was dumb of Sehun to assume, of course, that time didn’t pass for Chanyeol too. Chanyeol is allowed to have a long-term girlfriend, a happy and complete life, even without Sehun in it, and spending it with Kyungsoo isn’t half bad.</p><p>Kyungsoo finally looked up from her shoes, and her face lit up, her lips forming a pretty ‘o’. “Sehunnie! It’s been so long,” she gushed, placing the paper bag on the dining table. She turned her head to Chanyeol, “Yeollie, there’s some new kimchi and galbitang in there. I strictly forbid you from getting takeout again for the rest of the week,” then back to Sehun, “I saw the luggage bags, are you staying a while?”</p><p>Sehun couldn’t even face her in fear of suddenly getting a bald spot. “I mean, unnie said I could, but I can find somewhere else if I’m… imposing?”</p><p>Kyungsoo moved into her field of vision then, her eyes magnified by her lenses, stared straight at Sehun like she’s looking for something. “Imposing? Oh. Right, you left pretty quickly after your graduation.'' <em> We never heard from you since </em> was implied. “We broke up years ago. I stay at my own place a few blocks over. I just brought Chanyeol some food from work since someone has to take responsibility for her, so she doesn’t get scurvy eating tteokbokki three nights in a row.”</p><p>“That was one time!” Chanyeol protested, turning off the razor, and walking out so she can retrieve a hand mirror from her dresser.</p><p>“The number of times responsible adults should get scurvy is zero, Park,” Kyungsoo called out, no nonsense. Sehun was kind of crushing on her from just that. Insane how Chanyeol let her go, but Sehun isn’t complaining. “It’s quite interesting how I’ve heard ten words from you and not a single ‘thank you, Kyungsoo, your kindness will be repaid with my firstborn.’”</p><p>“Nothing is coming out of my pussy but juice, Kyungsoo, I thought you knew this.” Kyungsoo let out a laugh that spelled mortification but sounded like agreement. <em> God</em>.</p><p>“Yah, Park Chanyeol, not in front of the kid!”</p><hr/><p>Sehun sees it too, tonight. Chanyeol is just an endless container of love and passion, she directs it in all directions—in her work and to her friends and pets and lovers. Sehun wonders how Monsieur would warm up to Chanyeol, but she’d left him with her parents before the move. Sehun should be content just to be a part of it again, their idle connection full and colorful now, but she guesses she has more growing to do, or bravery to acquire. She hates being known, yet cannot stay satisfied, wants her best friend as her lover and to keep both those titles, wants it to be a sure thing.</p><p>They stumble out of the cab, already tipsy, after Chanyeol pays for the fare on her phone. They look like proper butches right now—loud jackets over prints, pants tucked inside their boots, because in between shots Chanyeol had told her, lips to Sehun’s ear again (she should really quit that) and tells her to take out her gayest clothes yet. “It’s going to be so fun, I know just the place, it will just be us and other people like us, Sehunnie. We won’t need to hide.” Sehun shivered, struck down by the prospect of it.</p><p>Chanyeol takes out her phone, and messily types a message. Then she takes Sehun’s hand, leading her to the back alley, right along retractable fire escape, where another person with a shock of platinum blonde hair greets them at the landing. “You performing tonight, Park?” The stranger walks down the steps, and the last flight slowly descends.</p><p>“Show off,” Chanyeol scoffs, but her eyes are bright and fond. “I’m not. You look like Megamind doing that, by the way.” Sehun is standing behind her, barely concealed despite Chanyeol’s height, since she’s a gangly lesbian herself, if only less awkward. Megamind, whose real name is still unknown to Sehun, eyes Sehun curiously. Sehun side steps, does a bow she’s not particularly confident she does well given the alcohol.</p><p>“I’m Sehun. It’s nice to meet you, Megamind-ssi.” Both Chanyeol and the stranger burst into laughter. Chanyeol’s left hand automatically finds the stranger’s shoulder, while the other slaps the arm that’s attached to it. The stranger’s mouth forms a rectangular shape when she laughs; a perfect set of teeth on display when she smiles directly at Sehun.</p><p>“Baekhyun,” she says, offering her hand for a shake. “I own this place, and little Chanyeollie here plays for me some nights.”</p><p>This place turns out to be a queer bar. “It’s lesbian night,” Baekhyun explains right when Sehun is about to comment on it. Chanyeol just beams, manages to keep momentum on that even as they elbow their way to a table. The place is packed, filled with beautiful people in differing levels of intoxication, like the party had started hours before, even when it was pouring out.</p><p>“Told you so,” Chanyeol says, bracing her forearms on the table, her shoulders brushing Baekhyun’s. “I’ll get us drinks!”</p><p>Chanyeol disappears in a sea of bodies. Being alone with Baekhyun feels like a stalemate. She knows Baekhyun is curious about her, this new person in Chanyeol’s life, and Sehun is curious about Baekhyun in turn. Sehun doesn’t ask any questions, just balks under the blonde’s inquisitive stare, in case her questions have answers she doesn’t want to hear. </p><p>Sehun imagines being just friends with a person who manages a gay speakeasy isn’t easy; it’s easier to fall in like or lust or whatever, with someone who is surrounded by all these interesting and irresistible things, and who is interesting and irresistible in turn. Baekhyun carries herself with an easy confidence, wearing an off-white coord on top of a white mesh top, blocks of solid satin strategically placed to cover the fullness of her chest, with a three layer necklace drawing attention to the exposed valley of her breasts, even lower to her belly, where a navel piercing reflects the club lights.</p><p>Who even wears white to the club? Sehun thinks, a little dizzy. People who aren’t to be fucked with, she decides, when Baekhyun cocks a confident brow and asks her, directly, “See something you like?”</p><p>Sehun freezes. “I—um.” Chanyeol arrives with a tray of drinks just in time, and Baekhyun doesn’t miss the way Sehun’s shoulders sag in relief. Sehun grabs one of the shot glasses and downs it. When she opens her eyes, Baekhyun is looking at her, amusement shining in her eyes, not irritation or outrage, so unlike what Sehun is used to during the few times she’d partaken in office mixers where she had to turn some enthusiastic tipsy men down. Sehun can see her gaze move sideways to Chanyeol quickly, then silently berates herself.</p><p>“Not quite, huh?” Baekhyun takes one of the cocktail glasses, taking a couple gulps. “Well, how about a dance?” When Sehun nods, Baekhyun hands out the next round of shots around the table, then gently pulls at Sehun’s hand until she follows into the dancefloor.</p><p>They don’t stray too far from their table, and Chanyeol is in the 99th percentile height out of all the women in here, so they’re able to easily spot the top of her frizzed out mullet if a few people get in their way. But right now Baekhyun has got both Sehun’s hands in hers, easing out a looseness in her limbs that wasn’t there before. It’s easy for Sehun to get her body to remember how to move, how to let the music thrum in her veins, and it helps that Baekhyun is in front of her, her bright boxy grin egging her on.</p><p>Baekhyun herself doesn’t slack off, once the music changes to something slower, smoother, she places a soft hand on Sehun’s waist, a question in the smooth sway of her hips. Whatever preconception about Baekhyun that made her seem so daunting earlier is lost now. So Sehun smiles, allows her to brush her fingertips across the fabric of her shirt, over her stomach, as she moves herself behind Sehun. It’s kind of comical, since Sehun is taller than Baekhyun by almost half a head, but she easily shimmies herself down, following the insistent guidance of the hands on her waist.</p><p>Sehun barely registers when Baekhyun whispers, “Look. Our table.” When she blinks her eyes open, she finds Chanyeol slouching over the barstool, her body angled toward their direction, and her eyes are intense. Hungry. The glass in her hand is now only a quarterway full, and she holds it in a loose grip. Sehun’s throat dries up. “She’s looking at you.”</p><p>And Sehun isn’t willfully obtuse, she won’t be bashful and say that she isn’t sure the look is for her, not right now. Sehun knows she’s desirable, she knows it more than in a theoretical sense. The gnawing feeling at the pit of her stomach isn’t because she isn’t <em> sure </em> Chanyeol wants her. She’s seen this look over takeout boxes, in between Jenga matches. She’s sure. But she can’t understand why Chanyeol won’t <em> make a move</em>.</p><p>Sehun turns on her heel to face Baekhyun. She smiles, infinitely stiffer than before, and excuses herself for some air. She silently pushes against the crowd toward the green exit light. She pushes the panic door open, and leans over the fire escape railing. The cold is biting at her nose and her fingertips, and when she breathes it comes out as white smoke. She’s not drunk enough for this.</p><p>Sehun hears the door push open, and she doesn’t have to turn around to know. She just looks down, at where the neon lights mix on the puddles.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, every syllable drawn out and tentative.</p><p>“Why do you never bring anyone home?” Sehun blurts out. God, it’s not even the right question. Of course, how could she when she lives in a one bedroom with her best friend, when they sleep in the same room and share the same beds? How could she when she wears Sehun’s shorts, and Sehun walks around in Chanyeol’s oversized band shirts bare-legged around the apartment? How could she when she looks at Sehun like she’s someone she can’t bear to lose twice? It’s all unspoken and unspeakable, but Sehun needs to hear it from Chanyeol now.</p><p>Sehun straightens up, gathers all the courage she can muster. She faces Chanyeol and she’s devastating in this light, the soft orange of the streetlights washing out the alcohol flush on her cheeks. Chanyeol’s lips are a bit chapped. </p><p>Sehun’s uprooted her life twice now, once before university and a second time when she moved all her belongings into Chanyeol’s space. She can stand a third time, like some stubborn succulent. If Chanyeol turns her down now, she can lick her wounds and try again, at least this time around she doesn’t feel defeated or wilted under Chanyeol’s quiet care. “Push me away if I’m reading this wrong, unnie.” Then she closes the distance between their lips.</p><p>Chanyeol’s lips blossom underneath Sehun’s. The slide of their lips isn’t smooth; it’s cold and it’s been a while since they’ve had a sip of water. Chanyeol’s chapped lips scrape at Sehun’s, impossibly soft despite it all, and Sehun swipes her tongue at Chanyeol’s bottom lip, tracing the swell of it, then shyly pushing inside. Chanyeol brings her hand up to cup Sehun’s cheek, her thumb tracing the smooth curve of her jaw, while she traps a few strands of hair at Sehun’s nape between her other fingers, tugging slightly. The kiss tastes like lime and vodka, smells like the unpolluted air after the rain, and when Sehun finally untangles herself from Chanyeol, she beats at Chanyeol’s chest. </p><p>“Stupid,” Sehun mumbles. “You’re so stupid.”</p><p>Chanyeol’s laugh is silent, but her shoulders shake all the same. “I already had you. That’s why I didn’t have anyone else.”</p><p>“I hate you,” Sehun replies, without any bite. “What took you so long? Why are all your friends so hot?”</p><p>“I think Baekhyun’s up for a threesome, actually.” Sehun hits her chest again, burying her face into Chanyeol’s clothes. This time, when she breathes in, she doesn’t hide.</p><p>“Not until I get fifty rounds with you at least.” She hopes it’s muffled by Chanyeol’s jacket. “I’ve wanted this forever.”</p><p>Chanyeol steps back and runs a warm palm over Sehun’s cheek, before dipping her fingers under her chin to tip her head up. “Me too,” she says honestly, before kissing Sehun again. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you got this far, thank you!! you can reach me through <a href="https://twitter.com/eggsoodeux">twitter</a>, and you can tell me what you think through comments-- i love replying to those &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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